How does a mindfuck affect your health?
Yes there is such a thing as a mindfuck, only in psych 101, it’s called intermittent reinforcement. The study goes like this…..so these scientist took some mice and gave them a button to push, and no matter how many times they did or did not push the button, they were given pellets of food at consistent intervals. Eventually, the mice lost all interest in pushing the button, because the food pellets were consistent. Then these scientists took some more mice, gave them a button to push, but sometimes food pellets came out, and sometimes they didn’t. Think Vegas slot machines. Not only did the mice become more interested in pushing the button, they became obsessed with it, to the point that they neglected their grooming habits, and evenlet themselves go to the point that their health deteriorated. The reward was inconsistent, hence the term intermittent reinforcement, and it’s not hard to see how someone could abuse this type of control over another person, wether consciously or subconsciously. People who use this technique, knowing very well what they are doing, really should be given a special place in hell, because it is no different than selling crack to an addict. If not worse. People who do it unintentionally, are sadly, the people who have the best intentions, in that they inadvertently provide someone with random rewards by trying “not to hurt them” & end up doing way more harm than they will ever know. That’s why it is better to leave a loveless relationship, not just for yourself, but for the other person as well. What feels like something they will never get over is much easier to get over the less time they are exposed to the inconsistent love.
But then there are those people who have low self esteem, fear of getting rejected themselves, or just “players”. So if you’ve ever felt a little crazy for wanting someone a little too much, then you were probably exposed to this. Don’t be ashamed. When you know better, you do better.
Relationships affect our emotions in so many ways. They say all is fair in love and war, so if prisoners of war come home to be honored, then I think prisoners of love who have fought for their freedom should be celebrated as well.
So, what’s love got to do with it? A lot actually. I’ll break it down with a few “f” words, but no foul ones. I won’t even go back to the whole cave man and survival mechanisms talk, but I will go back to the beginning, of the Bible that is. Remember what God told Adam and Eve? Be fruitful and _____________? Yep, multiply. It’s in our DNA to want to “frolic” (first “f” word). We don’t just want to be loved and accepted and chosen by those we are attracted to, our very survival depends on it. And, just so the cave men don’t feel neglected, I’ll mention that for them, any type of rejection meant isolation from the tribe, which meant certain death by being eaten by a saber tooth tiger, in which case, just the thought or feeling that smells of abandonment from our community is enough to signal the “fight or flight” syndrome (second and third “f” words). This is the body’s sympathetic nervous system, which unfortunately doesn’t know the difference between an imagined saber tooth tiger (dreaming of engagement with a crush) or a real saber tooth tiger (snubbed by your crush), and it also has no off switch. Or does it? I’ll be covering a hack to turn off the “fight or flight” syndrome in my next post.
But for now, back to love. There are physiological symptoms for this emotion. Just think about some of the terms we use, love struck, heart break, giving someone butterflies in their tummy, making someone’s heart skip a beat, and my favorite, the crush (because that’s exactly how you’ll end up feeling if you have one).
So how do you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships? Check your symptoms. Your physical body, how does it feel? When you think about your relationship or the person, how is your breathing? Shallow and quick, or slow and relaxed? Chances are, you’re reading this article because you are in a questionable relationship, which is affecting the way you feel. Let’s be honest, you can eat all the kale in the world, but if you’re in a shitty relationship, you’re going to feel like shit. Just like food nourishes our bodies, relationships nourish our souls, and both are just part of the equation we need to balance, to find balance, and live our lives to the fullest. So if you’re sick of wondering where you stand in the relationship, then it’s time to walk. Literally, get outside and go for a walk, and make a decision to let it go, for good. Or at least for the next 21 days. Go on a 21 day detox of the person you’re feeling mentally screwed by, no calls, no texts, no stalking on social media. No contact for 21 days, and after this mindfuck fast, you’ll realize the relationship in question, has answered itself.