So, let’s say yesterday’s little study and the “love quiz” was not something you felt very comfortable asking your significant, or not so significant, other to be a part of, or when you asked, they brushed it off with a nervous laugh and quickly changed the subject. Or you don’t even get a text back and you’re in more of a “situationship” because you don’t know what to call your status with the other person. In fact, this could be a relationship where the other person doesn’t know they are in the relationship (which can sometimes be considered stalking, but we won’t call it that). Basically, the relationship is unbalanced, and for whatever the reason, someone has unfulfilled needs, unmet expectations, or unmatched effort. Or it could just be that the relationship has met its expiration date, and neither person wants to be the one that does the damage to the other by ending it.
But there is good news, I can help you fix it all, redeem yourself, have a great relationship, and learn how valuable you are, and what assets you bring to the table, and what liabilities you can improve, and I can help you do it all in three weeks!
Â We all crave love. We all want acceptance and passion, we can’t help it, it’s in our DNA. That’s why relationships play such a crucial role in our health. We were born with the urge to breed, first of all, but also necessary for survival was to be part of a tribe. For safety, for hunting, gathering, community. So anything that feels like rejection triggers our caveman brain to jump to fear based thinking, which can wreak havoc on the central nervous system, and causing a cascade of physical problems to begin occurring. So being in a fear based relationship, which is one where your needs for certainty are unmet, is bad for your health. Close your eyes for a moment, and think about the person and the interaction with them, and notice how your body feels. Are you tense, with shallow breathing? Are your stomach muscles tight, maybe making you feel a little queasy? This time when you close your eyes, think back to a time when you were extremely happy, things were going great in your life, you were just all in your “zone”-did you feel a difference in your body? Maybe your jaw unclenched, or you let out a big breath, even a little smirk on your face? Shoulders back a little with chest slightly up?
Unconsciously, you are walking around in this first state, all the time, and is not only affecting your health, but every area of your life. So I’m going to tell you the best thing you can do and I know you are going to resist me, block me out, stop reading, or shake your head in disbelief, but it’s time. Deep down, you already know it, but now it’s time to make a decision, say it out loud, and do it. Let go. The harder you have fought for control, the more control you’ve lost. Just hear me out and let me tell you why it’s the best decision you will ever make. It’s not that I want to separate you from the person you want to be with, I just want you to think of it as a short intervention, a 21 day challenge, a chance to gain some perspective, about yourself, the relationship, and your life. Sometimes, we aren’t getting the love we need from others because of the lack of love we’re giving, which is directly proportionate to the love we have for ourselves. So over the next couple of days I’m going to delve deeper into a couple of different scenarios for where you may be, what kind of relationship woes you’re experiencing, what trials you may be facing, and where to go from here based on the success strategy that’s appropriate for you individually.
But the main lesson on love I’m going to teach you is how learning to love yourself, and why it is the key to having everything you want-better life, better relationships, better health, better you! And isn’t everything more attractive when it’s “better”? In fact, let’s not just stop at better, let’s make you EPIC, and create an epic life! And we all know you can’t do epic shit with basic people, so let’s leave basic behind and breakthrough better, straight on to epic.
But just for today, I want you to go back to closing your eyes, picture yourself successfully living Â at your absolute best. See yourself, in as much detail as possible, after a big accomplishment-how you look, how you feel, the things you’re doing, if you were at the top of your game, just you-no bae, no partner, no king or queen, just you.. Now take a few moments and write down 5-10 things that you could do to make that picture a reality. Would it be a new outfit, a few pounds lighter, a different job? Maybe a mani and a pedi, or a massage, or a new hairstyle? And before we go any further, there is no need to announce any of this to anyone. This is not the time to text your ex, and say “you just lost the best thing that ever happened to you” or the guy who hasn’t been texting you back, “I’m moving on without you”-no, no, no. If you can make it through the rest of the day, just doing the one assignment of “future tripping” and writing down the steps I’ve asked of you, then try going the rest of the day, thinking about how much of your life revolves around you focusing on the other person or the relationship, and try to shift your focus back on to you. Just keep track of it for the rest of the day and you will be shocked at how much time it takes just to make yourself miserable. I can’t wait to finish up tomorrow!
If you want to get a jumpstart, I’m launching a new FREE 21 day course called Project: YOU, new and improved. This is the best 21 day course on becoming the best version of yourself possible, and it’s only free for a limited time. You’ll be getting videos, downloads, and a private support system, plus access to me one on one! Email me now for the last few spots still available! Jennifer@jenniferottsinc.com